Iron Fist – an Honest Summary
by Alice Morgan
Our story begins with the introduction of Danny Rand, the privileged young daughter-son of billionaire power-couple Heather and Wendell Rand. On one faithful day their vacation goes to shit when their plane crashes into a mountain in the most horrifying way possible, making sure that no one who saw this scene will ever fly again.
Unbeknownst to the viewer, right then and there we meet the most likable characters of the story, the two dead pilots.
Danny is saved by benevolent monks who will beat the shit out of him for the next 15 years. After spending some quality time at the monastery Danny realizes that he can’t charge his iPod, so he leaves K’un-Lun in search of a charger. He forgets his slippers at the monastery though and leaves without them. A grave mistake. He somehow makes it to New York, but his body can’t adjust to the toxic Manhattan air. He becomes delirious and pretends to be a hobbit for an entire episode.
(This is normal.)
Everyone is a dick to him for having no shoes. Not a single character shows the slightest amount of empathy towards his situation, whatever it may be. This teaches us an important moral lesson: making fun of homeless people is fun!
Danny meets with his longtime bestest friends to discuss his transgender surgery. His friends think that the surgeon did a really bad job, since he still looks very much the same.
They do eventually accept her as male, but it takes way too long and involves a lot of business meetings.
He later goes to a job interview where he gets rejected for having no shoes. No one is surprised here, except him. Shoes are a key plot device in this story. Disheartened after the rejection he attends a local festival with his friends. They dance around a bit but Danny is so bad at dancing that his friends decide to shoot him.
Being professional security guards, it’s only natural that they don’t know how to hold a gun.
After spending the night in a park with a dead, homeless dude, Danny goes back to the Rand building, proving yet again that their security is useless. He laughs like a psychopath as he tells Joy how harmless he is. In order to prove this he keeps hugging a pillow. Then, in a sudden turn of events Joy drugs him. Somehow. Because any decent woman carries a bag of roofies with her at all times.
Ward also shows up. He was clearly hiding under the table the whole time. Danny goes to sleep. The end.
Just remember, whenever you want to convince someone that you are not a threat, bring a Pepsi and hug a pillow.
Would you like to read part 2? What did you think about Iron Fist?
Let me know in the comments below!